Sweeeeet California Sunshine
(sweet as sugar)

He was as careful as a cucumber, but no matter what he did, no matter how hard he tried, no matter how carefully he drove, no matter what, the same thing always happened. The car got dirty. Eeuw.
Time for a car wash. Fluffy, hairy and sudsy. He hates waiting though. Time to get in line buddy. Like everyone else.
Like a pretty landscape painting, they work for you. They wipe down the dashboard and the intimate cracks on its underside. They efficiently pump into your car a misting of the scent that you yourself chose from the scent menu. Treatment you only expect from a lover.
But you will always spurn a lover. You will always find fault, a smear on the windshield, you will always pay too little and get even less, applying lessons learned.

You say, "I can't believe this."

You draw attention to yourself, always providing onlookers with entertainment, you think they are laughing with you when they are laughing at you.

You say, "I might as well do it myself."

Poised and stiff, pouting movie-star style, hiding behind makeup and big sunglasses, you practice the art of acting for us. You've mastered it. I can't tell the difference between TV, movies and you.

on with the show...